It's not you. It's me.
For better or worse, we've both really changed since we've been together, and I don't know if we're as good of a fit as we used to be. I can remember when you made me so happy, and all I wanted to do was give back and give back. I wanted to be better for you.
But lately, well, Teaching, you're a jerk Maybe you've been a jerk all along, manipulating me into giving you everything I've got, then asking for more. You've exploited my natural curiosity for your own gains. You know all my faults and just how to make them seem huge and insurmoutable. You make me feel bad about myself.
You, do, you know.
Teaching, you make me feel like I'll never be good enough for you. You keep changing the rules, changing the steps to this dance that I thought that we were good at together. Just when we're in sync and everything is going really well, it all falls apart again. I don't have two left feet, Teaching. I'm smart and capable and even graceful when it comes to making people excited and sharing knowledge with them, but you're making me feel so clumsy.
And when I was younger, I was okay with that. I could just be more creative. More unique. Learn more. More, more, more. Now that I'm older though, I need to set some boundaries. I know myself better, and I need you to give back to me in a way you're just not. I'm tired of being the one that pours myself into this relationship and only sporadically feeling that...hit, that jolt of joy that used to be the current that ran through our entire relationship.
And whether you're unwilling or unable to give back like you used to, I honestly don't think I care. You demand things from me that I just can't give anymore, so I think we need a break.
Maybe not a permanent break. I love you so much that I don't think I could do that, but we need to look at what's going on - take a good hard look - and see if we still have the same priorities that we used to. We've grown apart, and maybe if we get ourselves back together, we can mend what we've spent so long creating.
Don't call for a while. I'll let you know when I'm ready to hear from you. I'll keep all your stuff that's here boxed up - I'm not going to sell it or anything.
And, Teaching? I think I lied in that first line. It is you. And me.
I'll miss you,
Sarah
PS) Will you please consider finding some new people to hang out with? These newest friends of yours are pretty unsavory - they say awful things about you behind your back.
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