Skip to main content

Apply Now for the MSGLA!

[Warning. Contains satire.]



Are you a principal, head teacher, or other school leader looking to gain new leadership ideas that can be implemented immediately? Do you miss the feeling of belonging to a group of people exactly like you? Has it been a long time since you've enjoyed the heady drama of the Middle School Atmosphere ™️️ ?

Fear not.

They're talking about how great MSGLA is. |  (source)
You too can advance your skills with the Middle School Girls Leadership Academy (or MSGLA for short). Our staff provides training in rumor spreading, power struggles, and advanced backhanded compliments. We can teach you to make your staff feel like valuable members of a team, and then, with a single word from you, turn on one another viciously. We have a course that instructs you in the best way to hold a grudge at no cost to yourself, and strength training for throwing staff members under the bus.

These skills and ideas have been tested for decades in the halls of middle schools and junior highs across the country, and now they are ready to be delivered straight to you. We at the MSGLA know that powerful need you have to be liked, to belong, and we'll show you how. Just look at these satisfied anonymous graduates:

I used to involve my entire staff in decision-making, but now I just ask a few trusted teachers. And those teachers know to tell me what I want to hear because I can ruin their careers with the skills I've developed. Thanks, MSGLA!
The teachers in my building used to get along in a really deep way - they could disagree about things and come to understandings about what was best for our students. What a mess! Thanks to the MSGLA, we're much more superficial now: we have staff potlucks and really nice bulletin boards - the things that really matter to the public. 
The vocabulary I have learned to put staff members with opinions in their place is invaluable. Thanks for helping me make them doubt themselves so I can push my agenda.
You can't argue with success like that. We know this is what you need to advance your career. It's fresh. It's innovative. And it works. At least for the people you really want around.

Sign up today. The Middle School Girls Leadership Academy. It's not gossiping. It's networking.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hands on top...*

This whole post might be off, but I don't think so. | Source  Everyone has a Thing in education they just can't abide. I've worked with teachers who disagree with numbering students or allowing bathroom breaks outside of lunch and recess. There's the much maligned clip chart. I personally lose my stuffing when teachers keep students out of Music because they're missing work in class. But there's something else that's creeping up right behind that as my number one classroom no-no. Attention Getters. You know, the Power Teaching "Class" - "Yes" or the sing-songy call and response, "One, two, three. Eyes on me!" - "One, two, eyes on you!" There's a million of them, as many as there are really great teachers who use them. I certainly don't want to disparage the teachers who rely on them. Teachers use what works for them, and we're all individuals, right? Well, yes. Of course. But my problem is t...
2 comments
Read more

A List That Actually Matters

I sort of wanted to give this post a cutesy title, like "My Edu-Valentines," but I'm incredibly serious about this. Yesterday, two of my favorite people on the planet, people I like and admire, were included in an exceedingly disappointing list of inspirational educators . (excuse me, "educationists.") They were both livid. As they should have been. The list was lily white and lacking women. Most of the people were not actually  teachers - which you know, makes them a lot less inspirational to those of us who spend our days surrounded with the bright future of the world. AND THEN, after being called out for the poor quality of the list, the author - who is not a teacher, but a "blogger and digital marketing biz" person and moderator of #GuruChats - about branding (of which I have  many thoughts ) - asked for suggestions to improve it. Okay, the first one is do your homework, don't run an algorithm. But then I took a couple of moments to sc...
2 comments
Read more

Fuhgeddaboudit

I tweeted earlier "I think my biggest fear is amnesia." All joking aside (and obviously, all the replies were  jokes) - forgetting is terrifying to me. I'm reading What Alice Forgot  by Liane Moriarty, about a woman who wakes up from a fall and can't remember the last decade of her life. When she wakes, she feels like herself from 10 years ago, but around her, everything has changed. I've spent the first quarter of the book in fairly frantic tears, my chest tight. I don't want to forget. I NEVER want to forget what has happened to me - none of it. Good or bad. I can't imagine what it would be like to see a dear friend and not know them. To not be able to share a joke or a knowing look. In the story, the main character even forgets her children . She wakes up and is a stranger in her own life. I feel like it hits close to home, not just because I am a visceral reader, (I have some of the worst book hangovers you can imagine.) but because someone near ...
3 comments
Read more