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I'm Kind of a Big Deal




I know, I know, it's been FOR-EV-ER. I had to do a piece of reflective writing for a class and it was like all of a sudden, my reflexive writing muscles just started working again. (That's a lie. I had to stop and "rest" and read Twitter many times in the actual creating of this. BUT, I may write more? Soon?)

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Literally seconds after submitting this reflection paper, my apps judge me.


This year, it seems wrong to celebrate. There’s so much going on in the wider world that overt joy is almost inappropriate. Couple that with a lack of in-person social interaction, and my biggest Thing this year hardly merits its capital letter. It’s still big news to me, so I’m going to celebrate it here. With you.

The day it was announced via email that we wouldn’t be returning to school, we also got the link to the form to nominate Teacher and Classified Staff of the Year. My immediate thought was, “This is ridiculous - we are ALL teacher of the year this year - look at us trying to figure out how to do this over the weekend. ” And, like the rest of the Before Times, the thought of it was lost to trying to navigate virtual meetings and create engaging content. Until, at one of those virtual meetings, my principal announced that our staff had selected me as Teacher of the Year.

Now, this was my sixteenth year of teaching, which means two things: one, that I know I’m good at what I do and that I enjoy it, otherwise, I wouldn’t still be doing it; and two, that I know that specialists are not typically (read: ever in the previous years of my career have I ever known one) chosen for this honor by their peers. So I was floored. It felt amazing to be recognized by my peers for the work that I do. I know that the building and place I have landed is a much better fit for me than where I left, but being given the opportunity to make decisions, to try new things, to join the school leadership team, and even to make mistakes and feel real support from an administrator, and then on top of all that to have peers who see excellence outside of a traditional classroom setting and honor it, well. It’s something.

So imagine me waking up to a phone that is, to embrace the youths, blowing up with congratulations on the day after school is out for the year. “HAVE YOU WATCHED THE VIDEO YET??!!!” one of them shrieks with many accompanying emoji.

The video in question is what would normally be our district end of the year breakfast when retirees are honored and the District Teachers of the Year are announced.

Palpitations. Sweat.

I skipped through the retirees. I’m too new to the district to know them, and there it was. My school picture, complete with class puppet and the Assistant Superintendent calling me “spunky.” My tears of validation and shock and vindication and honor were hot on my cheeks. I was laughing and fist-pumping, and entirely unseemly - it’s probably good this wasn’t an in-person event, truth be told.

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I worked in a district - being my exceptional self and being taken for granted - for thirteen years. I thought I would retire from there until the culture changed and everything that had been right was wrong and everything that was unique and wonderful about me was suddenly an affront. To me, being honored as Teacher of the Year isn’t only about my skill at meeting students where they are and going on a learning journey together. It’s about being seen, and it’s so very powerful to be seen for who and what you are.

That’s what I plan to take forward from this - seeing people and acknowledging them. I feel like I’m already good at seeing people for their authentic selves and even for celebrating their wonderfulness with them, but it needs to be bigger. Though I may not have gotten to have a raucous celebration of my awesomeness with my friends this year, and even due to circumstances, kept my good news pretty quiet, it’s important for people to feel important and valued and cherished, and going forward, I want to give more of that to my colleagues, friends and family, and especially my students.

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