Apply Now for the MSGLA!

[Warning. Contains satire.]

Are you a principal, head teacher, or other school leader looking to gain new leadership ideas that can be implemented immediately? Do you miss the feeling of belonging to a group of people exactly like you? Has it been a long time since you've enjoyed the heady drama of the Middle School Atmosphere ™️️ ?

Fear not.

They're talking about how great MSGLA is. | (source)

You too can advance your skills with the Middle School Girls Leadership Academy (or MSGLA for short). Our staff provides training in rumor spreading, power struggles, and advanced backhanded compliments. We can teach you to make your staff feel like valuable members of a team, and then, with a single word from you, turn on one another viciously. We have a course that instructs you in the best way to hold a grudge at no cost to yourself, and strength training for throwing staff members under the bus.

These skills and ideas have been tested for decades in the halls of middle schools and junior highs across the country, and now they are ready to be delivered straight to you. We at the MSGLA know that powerful need you have to be liked, to belong, and we'll show you how. Just look at these satisfied anonymous graduates:

I used to involve my entire staff in decision-making, but now I just ask a few trusted teachers. And those teachers know to tell me what I want to hear because I can ruin their careers with the skills I've developed. Thanks, MSGLA!

The teachers in my building used to get along in a really deep way - they could disagree about things and come to understandings about what was best for our students. What a mess! Thanks to the MSGLA, we're much more superficial now: we have staff potlucks and really nice bulletin boards - the things that really matter to the public.

The vocabulary I have learned to put staff members with opinions in their place is invaluable. Thanks for helping me make them doubt themselves so I can push my agenda.

You can't argue with success like that. We know this is what you need to advance your career. It's fresh. It's innovative. And it works. At least for the people you really want around.

Sign up today. The Middle School Girls Leadership Academy. It's not gossiping. It's networking.

Comments

Hands on top...*

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Fuhgeddaboudit

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An Open Letter to Mark Barnes

Dear Mr. Barnes, You are a bully. I know that in your recent blog post, you equated Doug Robertson to “the popular student” who gets others to yell without thinking about intent, but sir, that’s you. You have nearly 10 times the followers as Doug, and yet you continue to insist that you, head of a publishing company and former administrator, and Danny Steele, a principal, again with twice as many followers as Doug, are the outsiders in this situation. That you two are personally being attacked by a “poisonous” leader of a “mob” of thoughtless lemmings. I take exception to this in many ways, but first, let’s explore why I italicized followers . Because, Mark, that’s what you see people as. You look at this number on social media and see yourself as a leader and all of us as followers . I don’t follow Doug Robertson, I am his friend. I’m lucky enough to know him and his family in real life: we’ve eaten meals together, I’ve played with his kids, and stayed in his spare room. He’s ...

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