On Current Events

I want to feel my feelings
It is okay to be furious
Hurt
Defiant
Terrified
So very exhausted.

It is fine to feel like I want to
Need to
Give up
Go hide
Run away.

Because I know
(and you know it too)
I won't.

I can't.

These things will
Burnish me
Tarnish me
Harden me
Change me forever

But I will always
Love
Love
Love
Love

That is what I know how to do.

Comments

A List That Actually Matters

I sort of wanted to give this post a cutesy title, like "My Edu-Valentines," but I'm incredibly serious about this. Yesterday, two of my favorite people on the planet, people I like and admire, were included in an exceedingly disappointing list of inspirational educators . (excuse me, "educationists.") They were both livid. As they should have been. The list was lily white and lacking women. Most of the people were not actually teachers - which you know, makes them a lot less inspirational to those of us who spend our days surrounded with the bright future of the world. AND THEN, after being called out for the poor quality of the list, the author - who is not a teacher, but a "blogger and digital marketing biz" person and moderator of #GuruChats - about branding (of which I have many thoughts ) - asked for suggestions to improve it. Okay, the first one is do your homework, don't run an algorithm. But then I took a couple of moments to sc...

Wishing for Trouble

I didn't get in trouble today, and that's a problem. The day is young. There's still time. And I'm sure that my parent letter tomorrow will be met with resistance from several readers. But I should have gotten in trouble today. I was already worried yesterday about how to approach yesterday's treasonous insurrection with my students. Like you may know, though I'm in the middle of my career, this is the first time I've been a grade-level teacher with a classroom of students of my own. You also may know that I'm in a very conservative part of a very conservative state - my neighbor, a Guatemalan immigrant, still has his Idahoans for Trump flag flying proudly because he's white. My other neighbor, who is a Vietnamese immigrant also complains about the "immigrants who are stealing our jobs" when I see her at the mailbox. That's where I'm from. There's the context about what America looks like for some of you who might not see how d...

Fuhgeddaboudit

I tweeted earlier "I think my biggest fear is amnesia." All joking aside (and obviously, all the replies were jokes) - forgetting is terrifying to me. I'm reading What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty, about a woman who wakes up from a fall and can't remember the last decade of her life. When she wakes, she feels like herself from 10 years ago, but around her, everything has changed. I've spent the first quarter of the book in fairly frantic tears, my chest tight. I don't want to forget. I NEVER want to forget what has happened to me - none of it. Good or bad. I can't imagine what it would be like to see a dear friend and not know them. To not be able to share a joke or a knowing look. In the story, the main character even forgets her children . She wakes up and is a stranger in her own life. I feel like it hits close to home, not just because I am a visceral reader, (I have some of the worst book hangovers you can imagine.) but because someone near ...

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